On Beginning Again...

The New Year always comes too soon for me. When most have decided their resolutions need adjusting, I am just beginning. I celebrated my birthday this week. For me, THIS is the day that marks the start of a new year. Christmas and New Year's Eve, with all its festive fanfare, are behind me. The kids are back in school, and the house is (almost) in order. I am finally ready to begin again.

The day began with a cup of coffee and watching the last 15 minutes of The Crown in my PJs. Twice, I had fallen asleep trying to finish the episode and must have subconsciously wanted to begin my 56th year by crossing something off my list. What started as a few moments of media consumption turned into a poignant message that came at just the right time. (While this is not exactly a spoiler, if you prefer not to have the last scene described in detail, please stop here.)

There is a poetic moment in the episode where a younger Queen Elizabeth is talking to the current Queen as she laments what could have been or what she lost by the weight and duty of the Crown. The current Queen says, "But what about Elizabeth the woman?" Her younger self replied, "There is no Elizabeth Windsor to go back to anymore." Later in the finale, you see the current Elizabeth resolutely moving forward towards her duties and her decision to remain Queen for the rest of her days. Moments before the credits, she goes from being on her knees at the altar to walking down a long hall towards the entrance of Westminster Abbey. She is walking alone. At the end of the hall, a door is cracked open, revealing a light that beckons. All you hear are her footsteps, each heel of her shoe intentionally meeting the floor with a sound that echoes her life's decisions. The door finally closes behind her, and the light leaves with her.

While most of us will never know the burden or the privilege of being a monarch, the humanity in this story was striking. If our lives are a string of decisions and responses to circumstances, then if we are honest, each of us has wondered what we have traded our current life for, what we have lost along the way, and what could have been. But as the younger Elizabeth said, there is no (fill in your name here) to go back to. We are each left with our current selves and a decision.

I believe the gift of that sobering truth is that you are exactly where you are meant to be. The path forward is yours to pave. You have all you need to decide what can be—and there is so much that can be, but the resolution to walk step by step into the unknown begins with directing each step towards your heart. What are you called to? What is pulling at you? Circumstances will shift, and the road forward will look different than you thought or even planned, but the decision to begin, leap, trust, and embrace the possibilities are all yours, dear Queens!

Here's to beginning again. Here's to deciding to move forward with intention.